Archive for October 2008

Big Brain Answers

October 31, 2008

Question from K. T. Arlington VA
Dear Big Brain: What is your favorite color?
Answer: The BIG BRAIN generally does not like to choose favorites but if forced to choose a favorite color he would have to say plaid. Thanks for your attention.

Big Brain Answers

October 29, 2008

Question from J.H. Chicago IL
Dear Big Brain: Where does ones “personality” come from?
Answer: That’s a very good question. The BIG BRAIN was actually born without a personality. Yes, hard to believe, but true. As a youth The BIG BRAIN wondered why all the other kids had personalities and he did not. It was a type of birth defect, his mother would often tell him. Anyway, The BIG BRAIN was determined to find a way to get one. So at age 12, The BIG BRAIN got a paper route and began to save his money. After 14 years, at the age of 26, The BIG BRAIN finally saved up enough money to buy a personality and that is the personality you see here today. Some would say he did not save enough, but that’s another story. Anyway, to answer your question, some people are born with a personality and some buy them from a store. Ironic isn’t it.

Big Brain Answers

October 28, 2008

Question from S.R. Tampa FL
Dear Big Brain: What causes Hurricanes?
Answer: I’m glad you asked, hurricanes are caused when a lot of wind and rain get together and twirl around for awhile and churn up a big mess. The BIG BRAIN is not sure exactly sure why this happens but apparently it does so there’s your answer. Thanks for your support.

Big Brain Answers

October 25, 2008

QUESTION FROM R. H. Albany NY
Dear BIG BRAIN: Is your head extra large due to the enormity of your brain? Answer: I’m glad you asked. THE BIG BRAIN’S head is of average size but his brain cells are abnormally large and tightly packed. This sometimes causes THE BIG BRAIN’S head to throb, however THE BIG BRAIN puts up with this for the good of humanity.
QUESTION FROM T. M. Dallas TX
Dear Big Brain: You are the smartest and most bestest man in the whole world. You are my idal. I want to be just like you. Would it be possible that one day we could meet? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN is stunned. Never write THE BIG BRAIN again.
QUESTION FROM D. S. Oakland TN
Dear Mr. Head: If a train leaves NYC for Chicago going 60 MPH and another train leaves Chicago going to NYC at 40 MPH and they are 700 miles apart how many miles from NY would they pass each other? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN chooses not to answer at this time. Do not think it is because THE BIG BRAIN does not know the answer. He does. It’s just that he feels some questions are best left unanswered. THE BIG BRAIN’S head is throbbing again.
QUESTION FROM V. C. Oakland CA
Dear BIG BRAIN: How many miles is the earth from the sun. Answer: 72
QUESTION FROM N. M. PARIS FRANCE
Dear Head: Why does THE BIG BRAIN always answer questions in the 3rd person? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN does this as to not sound conceited. THE BIG BRAIN is always thinking of others.
QUESTION FROM J.P. MEMPHIS TN
Dear Mr. BIG BRAIN: Are your other body parts in proportion to the size of your Big Brain? Answer: Yes.
QUESTION FROM M.W. Portland OR
Dear Mr. FAT HEAD: My dad is way smarter than you. What do you think about that? Answer: Oh Yea. He is not.
QUESTION FROM S. J. ATLANTA GA
Dear Mr. Brain: I just love intelligent men. Are you married? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN is currently attached to Mrs. BIG BRAIN and can’t get unloosed.
QUESTION FROM D .R. KNOXVILLE TN
Dear Mr. BIG BRAIN: Why does E=MC Squared? Answer: It doesn’t, Einstein was wrong.
QUESTION FROM M. B. BOSTON MA
Dear HEAD: How many angels can fit on the head of a pin? Answer: 2
QUESTION FROM J. B. CLEVELAND OH
Dear Big Brain: Is it possible I could ever be as smart as you? Answer: No
QUESTION FROM R. E. COLLIERVILLE TN
Dear Mr. Brain: If I went to town how many would there be? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN wonders if you could be a little more vague.
QUESTION FROM Y. B. Los Angeles CA
Dear MR. BIG BRAIN: Who do you think is smarter, men or women? Answer: THE BIG BRAIN will get back to you with the answer at a later time. Do not think for one moment that THE BIG BRAIN is afraid to answer this question.